What Game Designers Could Learn From Watching Porn

Artist Unknown

A ->
A bad story is exponentially worse than no story at all.

B ->
If you cannot make a good story, tack on something simple, spend 20 seconds explaining it, then get to the good part.

C ->
A story told through the characters and the environment has a profound impact on the overall experience. A story told in block text at the beginning, or through constant repetition of the synopsis by characters of the story, does not.

D ->
There will still be people who want to fast forward to the good parts.

E ->
If the sex sucks, they really won't stick around for the story.

F ->
Gaming is a fundamentally masturbatory activity. The more pleasure you can output for the least amount of user obligation with adequate marketing, the better your market penetration.

G ->
Hard Core is all about finding your niche and filling it, though some niches are bigger than others.

H ->
If you neglect the over the top responses, your product will probably seem pretty boring.

I ->
Bad music may be cheap, but you'd be amazed the jump in quality that comes with turning it off.

J ->
Amateur is about .1% solid gold, 2% comedy gold and 97.9% too shitty to bear.

K ->
Yes, you're serious acting career is over.

L ->
No, you cannot make a real movie out of this.

M ->
If at first you don't succeed, hope the studio didn't blow too much money on you.

N ->
When in doubt, remember that a sequel to a crappy game will still sell at least %50 of what the original did.

O ->
No matter how shitty the original was, someone will bitch about how the sequel ruined it.

P ->
A long series in short form is better than a short series in long form. No matter how bad your writer is, at least 1/100 will show some real ingenuity.

Q ->
Change genres every now and then, it helps you think outside the box.

R ->
Choose a look, cheap or classy. Don't EVER mix the two.

S ->
There is money in the non-pg13 market.

And that's all that comes to mind at the moment.

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